Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Dragons Stripped of Premiership Run

In an ultimate show of toughness, the Independent Dictator Commissioner, David "The Tough Guy" Gallop, has today announced the stripping of the Dragons magnificent 11 year Premiership, as well as a host of other titles involving all other clubs. Gallop announced, "To make the competition fairer and even, we retrospectively applied a salary cap to all other years of the major rugby league Premiership. The Dragons were seen to have cheated that cap through a systematic rorting of the residential rules, which we have now deemed to be illegal. The only years that we, at this stage, can clearly say that no cheating of the retrospective cap applied, was in 2003 and 2005. So as it stands at the moment, the Penrith Panthers and the Wests Tigers have been deemed to be the only valid Premiers in rugby league history"

"I am not scared to make the tough decisions" Tough Guy said, "and I know it saddens many in the game that the magnificent runs of the Dragons, and other great teams like Souths Sydney, Parramatta, Canberra and Manly have now all been deemed to have been illegally assembled"

Additional to this, Gallop also announced fines and penalties for player behaviour on a host of clubs, including the Dragons and the Brisbane Broncos. "Clearly, the player standards of behaviour, also applied retrospectively, have been breached with the Dragons attending hotels after the conclusion of training, while Allan Langer was clearly intoxicated as he crowd surfed after the 1992 Premiership win, now deemed illegal."

The news has met with a myriad of responses with Phil Gould being most vocal "No, no,no,no,no". Others in the media supported Gallops stance, while former partner News Ltd, let it be clearly known why they got out of the game.

The news has created a response where we have seen not just players but clubs defect to rival codes. The Mighty St-George Club has snared the new Sydney South AFL Franchise. In making this announcement, the Dragons also announced a cross code marquee signing with Sonny Bill Williams lured back to Sydney for the new assignment. Michael Clark, the Australian Cricket Captain was also announced as a signing.

Souths Sydney have announced they have been chosen for the new Super 18 Union franchise and will play at a redeveloped Redfern Oval, while Canterbury are believed to be investigating the ANZ Netball Championship.

Gallop announced next years line up of clubs, being Penrith, Wests Tigers, Newcastle, Cronulla and the North Qld Cowboys. Peter Parr, the North Qld CEO has announced that "next Year is our Year". Gallop announced a 30 game, six round competition with mid-week Test and Origin matches from round 6 through to round 18. "The fans will love fronting up to all 30 matches involving their teams, as well as the  dozen representative fixtures" Its going to be a great competition.

In related news, Ross Livermore the CEO of the Breakaway QRL has today announced the SUPER Q CUP, involving 22 teams, including many from the former NRL camp. Livermore broke away from the Independent Commission structure when he realised that the power was going to Gallops head. "the day he announced the Trillion Dollar broadcast rights, with his little finger pointing to the corner of his mouth, was the day I decided the QRL needed to be reformed" Livermore said.  "Our competition is going to be awesome, featuring clubs from Canberra, Newcastle, Perth, Melbourne, Adelaide as well as our strong base of QLD teams. Livermore says: Our competition will feature 21 rounds where each team plays each other once. The finals will be top 12 and in knockout format, with the top 4 achieving a bye and a week off in week one of the finals. Our salary cap is based on a points system with long serving single club players being discounted after five continuous seasons, with just 10% of their points counting if they reach the tenth year with a club. We see this as an attractive proposal for the development of players within the one club". The SUPER Q CUP will be televised live through a broadcast company called QCUP Footy, and whose broadcasts will be onsold to TV stations.We have games played on a Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Monday Nights with four games every Sunday. It is believed these games will be played live on all FOUR Free-to-air TV Networks.

In other news, the rights holders for the Trillion dollar broadcast rights have launched legal action against the NRL independent commission and Tough Guy David Gallop. Gallop was last seen to comment, "bring it on, I am not scared to make the tough decisions, its for the good of the game, rules are the rules" as a For Lease sign was place on the building that housed the NRL.

Parody- www.thefooty.com

1 comment:

Tony Curl said...

Pretty Funny Guys

@TheFooty Podcast Episode #001

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